Milo, who lives in Brooklyn with his two moms, and Hollis, who lives in Minnesota with her mom Leigh (her other mom Pam passed away seven years earlier)—who were both conceived via in vitro fertilization using the same anonymous sperm donor. When Milo’s doctor suggests that his biological father undergo genetic testing to help diagnose his severe allergies, Milo reaches out to Hollis, whom he met once as a young child before Pam’s death, to help him search for Donor #9677. Though initially reluctant, Hollis is encouraged by her mother, who is newly energized by the possibility of reconnecting with Hollis’s half-brother. In the process of their search, Milo and Hollis locate three additional donor siblings, and together with Milo’s best friend JJ (who is adopted), they embark on an engaging adventure to find their biological father while discovering the true meaning of the “other F-word”: family. The novel, told in alternating third-person narratives, explores themes of identity, belonging, same-sex parenthood, grief, and what family truly means, celebrating the bonds that emerge between these newfound siblings while depicting their mixed feelings about their complicated yet loving families.
DCP Stories Collection
- Book – Fiction
- Ages 13-18 (e.g., young adult/teen)
- Natasha Friend
- Sperm Donor
The Other F-Word: A Novel
Review
What’s Done Well
- Highlights the diversity of donor-conceived experiences. By including multiple donor-conceived characters, this book features the range of feelings a donor-conceived person can have about their identity. While two of Milo and Hollis’s half-siblings agree to help find their donor, one of their half-siblings chooses not to. All of the half-siblings also have varying motives for why they want to find the donor, whether it’s for medical information or simply due to curiosity.
- Donor conception and adoption are not the same experience. One of the characters who helps Milo, Hollis, and their half-siblings look for their donor is JJ, Milo’s best friend. JJ is adopted, and at one point in the book talks about how donor conception and adoption are not the same experience, despite how they are often conflated. Though it’s a small part of the book, this is a great teaching moment for readers who aren’t donor conceived who may have pre-conceived notions about the experiences of donor-conceived people and adoptees.